Car accident

A demolished Chevy Vega in New York

Actually, my legs though were the least of the doctors concerns.  A lacerated liver, lacerated spleen and broken ribs required an internist to work on my abdomen area. Simultaneously there was a plastic surgeon putting a hundred stitches throughout my face!  Ouch.

It was quite a time, but I don’t remember any of it – not for about ten days anyway.

Somehow, I was out of the hospital within a couple of months.  The trauma from that crash is still with me.  I feel the pain.  You gotta get over it.  But for me, a distinction that I like to make is this.  I never had a moment where I say, “that was the day that I changed,”  because there was no such moment.

I see people experience pain in their lives.  The pain becomes a catalyst for change in their lives.  The great tragedy is marketable but most people never hit rock bottom.  And, why should we have something bad happen in our lives to create something good?

I knew who I was before the accident.  I knew who I was after the accident.  They were not different.  There was just a stumbling block in between.  I got up, brushed myself off and went on living.  It didn’t become a flagship moment because that was not what defined me.  Caring for others is what, I felt, defined me.  This would be my drive as opposed to overcoming some pain from a car accident, alcoholism or a bad relationship.

This is a short excerpt the Preface of the book, Goodology – Personal Development Through Good:

“…On one hand the thrill, happiness and appreciation I had when I saw someone smile and enjoy their life was my inspiration and drive.  But as good as I wanted to be, I knew that there was a force holding me back deep inside that I could barely see.  That force was dictating the amount of success that I would have, ultimately directing traffic.

Through college and after college I consumed a lot to feed that pain whether it was eating, drinking or drugs.  I would run baseball camps being positive all day, then drink at night.

At the same, there were other pains occurred.  When I was nineteen years old after basketball practice on my college team, I was in a major car accident that nearly took my life.  There was a shattered knee cap, a femur that looked like confetti and a split hip. The leg was moments from being amputated.  Worse were the internal injuries.  There was a lacerated liver and spleen.  There were broken ribs and the hundreds of stitches throughout my face and head.

Three doctors worked on me simultaneously.  Miraculously, I was out of the hospital in just six weeks.  The funny part about this accident is that it was like stumbling.  You brush yourself off and get up.  An incident happens; you deal with it and move on.  The accident was little more than that.  There was nothing heroic about it.  I had the benefit of youth, healing and attitude.  Within about six months I was walking.  Six months later, I ran a 10k road race with the doctor who repaired my leg.

Physical pain from the accident did nag at me.  But through this, I really began to see that there was no pain greater than the pain I felt inside.  There was no pain greater than that which I had created seeing an abused or neglected child.  I saw starving children in another country or poverty in the USA.  The physical pain from the car accident was not greater than seeing someone picked on, taken advantage of or even down on their luck.

I wanted to see fairness, and happiness.  I wanted to understand the energy.  Everywhere I looked, I wanted to help…”

I knew that I needed to understand the energy driving ME, first.